Comments on: LASER LIGHT

By: Dave Jarecki

Dave Jarecki — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 16:56:15 +0000

David – I appreciate your comments. Glad you felt pulled into the story. Something about DC made the poem possible. Not sure if it would work elsewhere.

By: Dave Jarecki

Dave Jarecki — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 16:55:28 +0000

Thanks Nathan – thanks for the great prompt that got the whole thing started. Fantastic photo.

By: Nathan

Nathan — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 01:34:31 +0000

Wow, Dave. This is beautiful. You’ve got the tone, the detail and the narrative to make a whole world here.

By: David Moolten

David Moolten — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 18:57:38 +0000

Dave,

This poem is quite a “trip.” It’s very effective narrative verse, really pulled me in to the story, and has numerous deft cultural allusions and a haunting finish. I love that it takes place in Washington.

By: Dave Jarecki

Dave Jarecki — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 17:15:47 +0000

Thanks DJ – one of my favorite parts too. Sometimes my narrators tend to hide out a little bit, and it felt good putting this particular stanza down. Thanks for your comments.

By: Dave Jarecki

Dave Jarecki — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 17:14:36 +0000

It’s just a long poem about friends trying to escape their present condition and reconnect with something that is no longer there.

By: Therese Broderick

Therese Broderick — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 17:02:37 +0000

Poetry spans a large spectrum. This piece seems to lie more on the prose end of the spectrum than the poetry end. I have some advanced training in how to comment upon a poem, but I have no advanced training in how to comment upon a prose story. If you would like to explain to me this piece so that I could understand its genre better, please go ahead.

By: DJ Vorreyer

DJ Vorreyer — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 23:17:28 +0000

“I hadn’t planned on being the smart one, rarely was,
but got us to the field and our seats. We blended in
like we were anyone else, just normal people who’d never
killed anyone or beaten someone to near death
with a bar of soap, had never knocked up
an old friend’s girlfriend then another, never
had to decide which one to send checks to.”

I love this part – I think it gives a perfect glimpse into the mindset of the speaker and what the men think of themselves. Nice work.

By: Dave Jarecki

Dave Jarecki — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 22:58:50 +0000

I appreciate you reading from across the pond, Anthony. I appreciate your note.

By: Dave Jarecki

Dave Jarecki — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 22:58:12 +0000

Thanks Cynthia. I’ll leave the “waste/waist” question open for now. The narrator is quite a waste, as are his buddies. Thanks for your comments!