SAINT TINA MARIE
The following comes from Read Write Poem’s prompt #87, working with vowel sounds. I decided to work with “A”.
Avenue A was the first place I’d look for Tina
when she disappeared. It wasn’t anything psychic.
I knew her haunts by the way
she’d crawl around the parquet floor scrawling loops
with bisecting pens, muttering Sweet Jesus
what will our Christian soldiers do now that the war
has wound to a halt?
Starting at the back of Alphabet City
she’d head north where St. Al’s parish was a shadow
behind canopies, its towers
pointing like missalettes at God.
There, the patron saint of Gaston Isles would hang
her wine drunk hair from the tallest perch
until all the birds came back.
Tags: drunk poetry, Portland poet, Portland poetry, read write poem
Some interesting imagery in this. Nicely done.
Hi Dave,
I really like “a shadow/behind canopies, its towers/pointing like missalettes at God.”
as well as
“wine drunk hair” – what is that exactly?!
Great work with sound, Dave. “Her wine drunk hair” is a fantastic image.
Bisecting pens..I really liked that!
your yellow shirt contrasts with the pillar
There are some amazing images in this poem. I am with Nathan in that my favorite is “wine drunk hair”.
I enjoyed this work, and was especially taken by the imagery, and for me, the irony of this line: “its towers pointing like missalettes at God”… well written!
…rob
Derrick,
Thanks for your thoughts. My thought with “wine drunk hair” is essentially something dark, wild, and unabashed, while also being damp, wet, and practically sticking to the face because of sweat. A wild, drunken women in the heat of passion from ecstatic prayer.
Thanks Rob – as a former Catholic, I sometimes miss the language of church and clergy. I’ve never used “missalettes” before–in an earlier draft, the word was the more predictable “missiles”. Working with the “A” sound, I came back to missalettes.
Pam – thanks, I appreciate you sharing.
Thanks Guatami – always nice to hear from you on these pieces.
Thanks Nathan – I saw yours pop up on facebook last night, which prompted me to write in the first place. I’ll have some thoughts shortly over at Gas Fumes.
Thanks Anthony.
I agree with so many of the comments, your descriptive phrasing is excellent. I can just see this poor wretch, and her drunken life…
Hi Dave — honestly I can’t remember if I’ve visited your blog before, but I love this piece. My favorite image is the “wine drunk hair”. I think sometimes there’s a fine line between religious fervor and the fervor from the blood of grapes. Good write.
-Nicole
Thanks Nicoloe – was checking out your site and Writers Block Poetry – makes me wish I was closer to Columbus.
Thanks Cynthia – I love when characters come out of nowhere and just appear on the page.
crawling around on parquet floor….. so much richness there. All of a sudden as I retype it I think, randomly, isn’t there a rock singer from the 80′s, Tina Marie? Would she have crawled on stage, doing her thing?
And this is completely random. I have a cousin named Bob Jarecki. Wondering if there is a connection there…
Thanks Julie –
Can’t say I know a Bob Jarecki, but that’s not to say we’re not related. Feel free to pass my name along. There aren’t too many of us around, and I’m sure, in one way or the other, we all go back to the same Eastern European spring.
God, this is beautiful. Mythic. Heart-breaking.
[...] DaveJarecki.com Avenue A was the first place I’d look for Tina when she disappeared. It wasn’t anything psychic. I knew her haunts by the way she’d crawl around the parquet floor scrawling loops with bisecting pens, muttering Sweet Jesus what will our Christian soldiers do now that the war had wound to a hault? —- This entry was posted Thursday, August 13th, 2009 at 6:00 pm and is filed under Smorgasblog. Print [...]
Oh the imagery! So good… so, so good!
Hello Dave, This is my first visit to read your poetry and I would agree that your “A” poem has some very thought provoking imagery. I like the way it scrawls around the floor and the shadow hides. Very well written post, I enjoyed my visit here. Thank you.
this line is an excellent example of doing this skillfully:
“There, the patron saint of Gaston Isles would hang”
the repetition is musical.
good one…i like the wine drunk hair ….very merlOt
Amazing, as usual, Dave. Love the reference to St. Al’s parish. Definitely a haunting piece.
Your use of A is subtle, but so effective. The image of this woman is so visual. I can almost feel her fervor/anxiety. The last two lines are my favorites.
Perfect work!